How to Actually Win a Designer Mark-Down Event (Without Going Broke)
It was 1:43 in the morning, and I was sitting in the rocking chair nursing my youngest in the pitch black while my phone screen practically burned my retinas. I had twelve tabs open, a virtual shopping cart with a...
Why I Threw Out Our Giant Plastic Baby Activity Table
I was sitting on the living room rug with my coffee halfway to my mouth, staring at my oldest son, Jackson, who looked like he was preparing for a lunar launch. He was six months old and firmly wedged into...
What No One Tells You About the Stokke Tripp Trapp Baby Set
It's barely six in the morning in Chicago, the heat just kicked on, and I'm using a dull butter knife to chip concrete-level dried sweet potato out of the tiny plastic grooves of a high chair harness. My toddler is...
The sweet potato disaster and the ugly truth about baby spoons
I was wearing a cream-colored sweater, which, letβs be honest, is the first and most obvious mistake I made that day. It was around 5:30 PM, the exact hour when my blood stream is approximately four percent coffee and ninety-six...
Why looking up kids stores near me usually ends in disaster
The wind off Lake Michigan is currently performing a hostile takeover of the sidewalk. My toddler, who fit perfectly into his heavy coat exactly three days ago, is now hulking out of the sleeves like a tiny, irritated bodybuilder. The...
How To Hunt Down Every Good Angebot Pampers Without Going Crazy
I'm currently staring at a giant cardboard box of size 2 diapers sitting in my garage that I bought in a sleep-deprived haze because the neon yellow sign at H-E-B told me it was a mega savings event. Spoiler alert:...
The evolutionary trap of extremely cute babies and the first year
It's 3:14 AM, and I'm staring at a glowing night-vision screen on my phone. My 11-month-old is doing that weird frog-leg stretch in his crib, completely dead to the world, and I'm just watching his chest rise and fall to...
The Messy Truth About Why We Finally Switched To Silicone Bibs
Let me paint a picture for you. Itβs a random Tuesday in November 2017. Maya is six months old, and we're embarking on the mystical, terrifying journey of Baby-Led Weaning. I'm sitting on my kitchen floor at 2 PM wearing...
Dear Past Marcus: The Skianzug Kinder Survival Guide I Wish I Had
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, currently staring blindly at a wall of synthetic winter gear at the REI in the Pearl District while Sarah texts you asking if you've found anything waterproof yet. I'm writing to you from...