Magazine

A tired dad looking at his phone in a dark nursery

A Late Night Deep Dive Into Pop Culture and Sensory Needs

Dear Marcus of exactly 182 days ago, It's currently 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The nursery thermostat reads exactly 68.4 degrees, which Sarah insists is the best thermal environment, though the humidity has drifted to 48%, so who even knows...

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Baby in oversized baby gap outlet clothes chewing on a silicone squirrel teether.

Surviving The Baby Gap Outlet, Tooth Spacing & Sibling Years

I was standing under these aggressively buzzing fluorescent lights with a lukewarm, half-spilled oat milk latte leaking condensation all over my hand, clutching three pairs of tiny, stiff denim pants. Leo was four months old, strapped to my chest in...

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Exhausted British dad holding twins and a stack of unhelpful baby manuals

The Myth of the Book Baby and Why My Twins Refused to Read It

At twenty past three on a damp Tuesday morning in our entirely too small London flat, I found myself holding a screaming infant in one arm while desperately trying to flip the pages of a sleep-training manual with my teeth....

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A tired dad trying to keep up with his highly energetic dancing baby

Surviving the Kitchen Disco: The Truth About Your Dancing Baby

Before the twins arrived, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory pieces of unsolicited advice regarding music and infants. The frighteningly intense instructor at our antenatal class warned us that bouncing a child incorrectly to a beat could permanently traumatize their...

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A blurry 4D ultrasound photo of a baby that looks slightly like an extraterrestrial

When your 4D ultrasound baby alien leaked on the family group chat

The ultrasound gel was freezing, and the sonographer whose name tag said Brenda was pushing the wand into my bladder with the force of a hydraulic press. We were at the 20-week anatomy scan. The monitor in the dark room...

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Wooden building blocks scattered on a rug next to a play gym.

Why Most "Educational" Toys Are Just Overpriced Plastic

I'm currently staring down a plastic monstrosity that speaks three languages, flashes like a discount Vegas casino, and cost my mother-in-law forty-five dollars. It has a giant sticker on the box screaming that it'll teach my baby geometry, and let...

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A toddler looking skeptical while sitting next to a newborn baby sister.

When The Baby Sister Strikes Back: A Letter To My Past Self

You're standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning, staring at a block of sharp cheddar cheese and rubbing your thirty-eight-week belly. You think you've this under control because you survived the newborn trenches once. You...

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A tired mom holding a coffee mug and a folded baby blanket in a dimly lit nursery

When Can Babies Sleep With A Blanket: A Mom's Honest Guide

I was standing in Maya's nursery at like 2 AM. She was maybe four months old, it was the dead of February, and our old house is drafty as hell. I was holding a lukewarm cup of coffeeβ€”my fourth of...

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Tired dad holding a crying 11-month-old baby while looking at a laptop screen

Troubleshooting The Baby Come Back Phase Without Losing Your Mind

2:14 PM. Portland is doing that misty drizzle thing outside where it's not quite raining but you still get entirely wet. I've stepped exactly 3.4 feet away from the playmat to grab my lukewarm coffee from the side table. I...

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