A Letter to Past Me About The Baby Boy Cast (And Pee Fountains)
Hey man. It's you from six months in the future. You're currently sitting in room 3 at the pediatric orthopedist in downtown Portland, sweating straight through your flannel shirt, watching a technician wrap your five-month-old's lower half in what looks...
The baby Saja aesthetic versus the reality of my screaming twins
It was 4:12 AM, the bluish light of my phone illuminating a half-eaten Hobnob on my bedside table, when I fully lost my grip on reality. One of the twinsβI honestly couldn't tell you which one in the dark, but...
Raising A Baby Boy: Surviving The Chaos And Finding Cute Clothes
When I was eight months pregnant with my oldestβthe child who's now officially my daily cautionary taleβI got three distinct pieces of advice in the span of one afternoon. The lady at the post office told me boys are emotionally...
Toddler Sweaters Boy Edition: What Actually Works for Winter
My mother-in-law told me to put three layers of thick wool on him or his lungs would freeze the second we stepped onto the Chicago pavement. The moms in my playgroup swore by fifty-dollar beige cashmere rollnecks that require dry...
Real Talk on Geburtsgeschenke Jungs: Gifts We Actually Used
I'm literally sitting on my living room floor with a trash bag in one hand and a pair of kitchen scissors in the other, trying to aggressively dismantle a three-tiered "diaper cake" constructed entirely of newborn-sized diapers and thick blue...
My 11-month-old's baby boy socks are a hardware flaw I finally fixed
I'm currently staring at a pile of exactly fourteen orphan pieces of miniature footwear on my living room rug. My son is eleven months old, which means we've dropped roughly 1.2 items from our inventory every single week since we...
How to Survive the Baby Blue Tuxedo Phase Without a Meltdown
There I was, standing in the vestibule of St. Judeβs Catholic Church at exactly 1:42 PM on a sweltering Saturday in May, trying to peel a 100% rigid polyester jacket off my screaming eighteen-month-old son, Leo. My own dressβsome floral...
A Dad's Tech Guide to Figuring Out When Is Baby Boi Dropping
It was 2:14 AM. The baby monitor was glowing with that sinister green night-vision hue that makes my eleven-month-old look like a paranormal entity trapped in a crib. My phone vibrated on the nightstand, blinding me with the lock screen....
The weird truth about keeping your infant son warm this winter
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, standing in a freezing Chicago parking lot, violently arguing with my mother on speakerphone about wool. She was convinced my unborn beta would instantly freeze to death the moment we left the maternity ward unless...