Magazine
Hang In There Baby: Surviving The Fourth Trimester Beta Test
The digital thermometer on the nursery wall read exactly 68.4 degrees. It was 3:14 AM on Day 42 of our daughter's life, and she was executing a continuous, high-pitch audio loop that I was pretty sure violated several international treaties....
What the Greg Gutfeld Baby News Taught Me About Newborn Chaos
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the beige living room rug that desperately needs vacuuming, aggressively rocking a screaming baby with your left foot while trying to untangle a botched macrame order for the Etsy shop...
The Wild Strength of a Grip Baby (And What Not to Do)
My oldest son, bless his heart, came out of the womb clutching the collar of my hospital gown like he owed somebody money. He had this vice grip that left tiny red half-moon fingernail marks on my chest, and if...
The Great Green Baby Panic: A Father's Descent Into Eco-Parenting
I was standing in our galley kitchen at 3:14 a.m., holding a disposable nappy that smelled vaguely of industrial solvent, when I realised my twin daughters were going to single-handedly destroy the ozone layer. Florence was screaming from the bassinet...
What the Gracie Abrams Nepo Baby Drama Taught Me About Parenting
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Subaru in the Target parking lot at roughly 4:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing gray sweatpants that had an unidentifiedβand honestly, highly suspiciousβstain on the left knee. It was like 84...
Honest Girl Baby Shower Themes That Will Not Make You Cringe
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by three different shades of sage green cardstock while scrolling through baby shower themes, trying to figure out how to force fifty people to celebrate...
Raising Gen Beta: AI Anxiety, Wooden Toys, And Finding Peace
I was sitting in the dark nursing my son while the Chicago winter tried to break my living room windows. My phone screen was the only light in the room. I had fallen down a 3 AM internet rabbit hole...
Letter To My Sleep-Deprived Self About This Incredibly Gassy Baby
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the glider in the nursery at 3:17 AM. You've got an Etsy order for fifty custom trucker hats due on Tuesday that you haven't even touched,...
When the Internet Decides Your Toddler Needs Street Cred
I was wiping smeared avocado off my toddler's chin at the local park when a pack of ten-year-olds sat on the bench next to us. One of them had a phone propped up, blasting gang baby lyrics into the humid...