Magazine

Tired dad sitting on floor holding a flashing plastic toy and a simple wooden ring

Surviving the great baby toy invasion without losing your mind

My mother-in-law arrived on a Tuesday afternoon with a battery-operated plastic farmyard that screamed distorted animal noises at 120 decibels, proudly declaring it highly educational for the twins. The very next day, my heavily bearded friend who lives in Hackney...

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A stack of pastel baby shower envelopes scattered across a messy kitchen table

Baby Shower Invitations: The Brutal Truth About Modern Stationery

I'm currently using a dull butter knife to scrape dried, crusty hummus off a piece of 600gsm letterpress cardstock. It's an RSVP card that my two-year-old twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, managed to intercept before I could tally the final...

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A frustrated parent installing a convertible car seat in the back of a small SUV.

The Real Story Behind Keeping Your Kid Alive in the Backseat

The discharge nurse was watching me. We were on level three of the Northwestern Memorial parking garage, the Chicago wind was howling through the concrete pillars, and my husband was weeping silently while trying to wrestle a five-pound infant into...

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Exhausted mom in stained sweatpants holding a baby with dry skin

Surviving The Ash Baby Look And Other Sweaty Newborn Disasters

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at Leo under the harsh bathroom vanity light, wearing a nursing bra that smelled aggressively of sour milk and my husband Dave's oversized college sweatpants. Leo was three weeks...

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Tired dad holding twin babies surrounded by wooden toys

The actual nepo baby meaning for severely sleep-deprived parents

My mother-in-law confidently informed me over a lukewarm cup of Earl Grey that it was a highly contagious viral rash sweeping through the North London nurseries. The barista at our local overpriced coffee shop swore it was a new developmental...

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Mom holding a silicone baby teether instead of a dangerous ice cube

When Ice Ice Baby Goes Wrong: Teething, Choking, and Cold Fails

I was standing in my kitchen at two in the morning in a ratty t-shirt, sweat dripping down my back because Texas in July is basically a swamp, watching a piece of ice slide out of my fingers and straight...

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A very tired father staring into the middle distance while holding a crying baby.

Decoding the Relentless Midnight Screams of Your Tiny Human

It’s 3:14 in the morning and both twins are vibrating with the kind of acoustic violence usually reserved for heavy metal festivals. I'm standing in the dark, rocking on my heels in a rhythm that has permanently damaged my lower...

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A chaotic changing floor with half-empty packets of wet wipes and a kicking toddler

The Exhausting Truth About Buying Baby Wipes in the Modern Age

It's 3:14 in the morning, the room smells vaguely of sour milk and despair, and I'm furiously yanking at a packet of supermarket wet cloths that have decided to chain themselves together like a magician's endless handkerchief. I only need...

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A frustrated mother holding a wooden teether while her toddler watches a screen

Surviving the baby shark song without losing your entire mind

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting in the pediatric ICU breakroom, eating a stale protein bar, pregnant, smug, and swearing your future child will only listen to classical music and ambient nature sounds. I need you to...

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