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The Absolute Biggest Myth About Finding a Good Baby Clothing Store
The greatest lie ever sold to expectant parents isn't that you'll eventually sleep again (though that's a massive, highly documented falsehood). It's the entire concept of the baby clothing store. Before the twins arrived, I had this hallucination of wandering...
A Letter to Past Jess About Finding a Quality Kids Boutique
Dear Jess from last October. I'm currently staring at a giant black trash bag sitting in the hallway that's full of neon, plastic-feeling shirts that somehow shrank three sizes in a single wash, and pants where the knees blew out...
The Great Blowout Disaster: What I Learned About Baby Clothes
I was standing in the glow of a turtle-shaped nightlight at 3:14 AM, holding a screaming Jackson at armβs length like he was a ticking bomb made entirely of mustard-colored liquid. He was exactly four weeks old. The blowout had...
3 AM Blowouts and the Brutal Truth About a Baby Onesie
It was three in the morning in our drafty Chicago apartment when the smell hit me. Not the standard sweet-sour milk smell, but a toxic, biological hazard level stench that wakes you from a dead sleep. I flipped on the...
My very messy, tear-filled attempt at babydecke stricken
It was 3 AM on a Tuesday in November 2016, and I was sitting cross-legged on our hideous, scratchy brown living room rug. I was seven months pregnant with Leo, wearing my husband Daveβs oversized college hoodie, and I was...
The Brutal Truth About Heirloom Crochet Baby Blanket Patterns
3 AM in pediatric triage is a specific kind of purgatory. The fluorescent lights hum, everything smells vaguely of bleach, and you're running on stale coffee and adrenaline. I was three years into my nursing career when a frantic grandmother...
ZΓ€hne Baby: The Brutal Truth About Surviving the Teething Apocalypse
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday when I woke up to a sound I can only describe as a hyperactive beaver trapped in the nursery. I stumbled in, entirely blind, and found Maya standing in her cot, aggressively gnawing...
The reality of baby sizes and why age labels are lying to you
I was sweating through my postpartum shirt, trying to fold my three-week-old son's arm into a rigid denim jacket labeled zero-to-three months for a mandatory family photo. His arm was stuck at a strange right angle while he screamed, and...
Real Talk About Baby Clothes for Girls (And What Actually Works)
I'm currently staring at a photo of my oldest daughter from four years ago, and y'all, I need to issue a public apology to this child. She is exactly three weeks old in the picture, screaming her tiny, bald head...