Debugging the Perfect Baby Easter Outfit for Spring Photos
Dear Marcus from six months ago. It's exactly 10:14 AM on a Sunday. You're currently standing in Mayaβs parents' sunlit living room in Southeast Portland, holding an eleven-month-old infant who's violently attempting to ingest a handful of synthetic purple Easter...
Choosing the Right Going Home Outfit For Baby: A Dad's Warning
Dear Marcus (Version -11 Months), You're currently standing next to our Honda CR-V on Level 2 of the hospital parking garage, staring at a rigid plastic bucket with five straps that you're somehow supposed to secure your new daughter into....
The California Arts Baby Tee: Why Streetwear on Infants is a Trap
You're standing in the middle of the nursery at 7:15 in the morning, holding a miniature, mustard-yellow piece of cotton that looks incredibly cool on Instagram, currently trying to calculate the exact geometric angle required to force your screaming childβs...
St Louis Ribs vs Baby Back: Which is Actually Safe for Your Baby
My mother-in-law told me handing my ten-month-old a rib bone was essentially attempted murder. My favorite internet momfluencer swore a massive rack of meat was the ultimate teething hack. And when I asked my pediatrician about it, she just gave...
Why That Reality TV Baby Drama Actually Made Me Scream
It was 3:14 AM, and I was pinned under my oldest son in a rocking chair that squeaked every time I shifted my weight. My C-section incision felt like it was actively unzipping, I smelled like sour milk, and my...
What I Actually Learned From The Mother Baby Nurse On My Worst Night
It was 4:12 AM and I was sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of my bathroom floor, leaking from literally everywhere. Maya was exactly four days old. My older kid, Leo, who was three at the time, was blessedly asleep...
Raising a Gemini Baby Without Losing Your Mind Or All Your Friends
"Don't tell Mr. Henderson that his grass looks like garbage. I don't care if that's what Daddy said in the kitchen, you keep your mouth shut because your wife is my friend and I've to sit next to her at...
Decoding the Angel Emoji Baby: What It Really Means for Parents
I was sitting in the front seat of my Honda Odyssey in the Target parking lot yesterday, aggressively sucking down an iced latte that had already started to separate into that weird milky water at the bottom, wearing leggings that...
The Truth About the Naked Baby Eco Trend (And Why We Tried It)
When I brought Leo home from the hospital four years ago, I received three distinct pieces of advice within a 48-hour window. My mother-in-law, Carol, stood in my living room holding a pair of microscopic fleece booties, insisting that if...