Decoding the Rora Baby Monster Phase Without Losing Your Mind
I was wearing Dave's faded gray Boston College sweatpantsβthe ones with the questionable stain on the left kneeβand my hair was in a knot so tight it was giving me a tension headache. It was 3:14 AM. I know the...
My honest nurse review of those famous Korean bulk baby wipes
Standing in the glowing fluorescent aisles of a massive warehouse club, staring at a cardboard mountain of Rico wipes. You know the ones. Every mom group on the internet treats them like sacred texts. Another parent bumps my cart to...
Letter to myself about red panda babies and surviving the night
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the peeling linoleum of the nursery floor at three in the morning, staring at a pile of unwashed swaddles and frantically googling the birth weight of exotic animals. You think...
Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby: A Letter To My Past Self
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting in that squeaky wooden rocking chair, staring at the peeling paint on the window sill because it's 3:14 AM and the baby finally closed his eyes. You just blindly typed a...
What Nobody Tells You About The Weird Belly Button Phase
I was standing in my kitchen staring at a newborn who wouldn't stop screaming, sweating completely through my cheap nursing tank, while getting three entirely different sets of instructions from the women in my life. My mama was digging in...
The "Baby Girl Let Me See You Twirl Lyrics" Viral Audio Trap
My thumb was hovering over the bright blue "Post" button when Sarahβs hand shot across the kitchen island and physically tackled my phone into the fruit bowl. "What are you doing?" my wife asked, looking at me like I had...
A late night letter to myself about the baby gap discount code
Dear Priya from last November. You're sitting in the dark. The baby is finally down after three false starts. Your phone screen is blinding you because you forgot to turn on night mode. You're staring at a cart containing fourteen...
The Real Baby Fever Meaning: From Cute Cravings to 2 AM Panics
I was standing in the baby aisle of a Target in 2014, wearing one of those aggressively chunky infinity scarves that were a literal choke hazard, weeping into my overpriced iced Americano. A woman had just walked past me wearing...
How to Bring a Baby Home to Your Dog Without Losing Your Mind
I was sitting on my faux-Navajo living room rug, covered in sour milk spit-up, physically restraining my 70-pound mutt Buster by his collar while my newborn screamed in the bassinet, trying to mentally sort through the absolute circus of advice...