Why I Finally Let My Kids Listen to Fantastic Baby Lyrics
It was 2:14 PM on a rainy Tuesday, I was wearing a nursing tank top that smelled strongly of old milk and desperation, and my husband Dave was having a full-blown basement rave with our then six-month-old daughter, Maya. Like,...
Freestyle Lil Baby & Car Rides: Bass, Babies, and Eardrums
My mother-in-law Sheila leaned right into the bassinet and told me, in absolute dead earnestness, that playing Mozart at a low volume was the only mathematically proven way to build brain cells in an infant. My 22-year-old cousin, who by...
The Baby Shark Song Lyrics Broke My Brain (A Dad's Log)
The dashboard clock of my Subaru says 3:14 AM. I'm driving aimlessly down I-84 in the pouring Portland rain, the heater blasting a smell of stale coffee and desperation. The only thing keeping the 11-month-old in the backseat from initiating...
Raising a Lil Baby Son: Hip-Hop Myths and the Messy Reality
My mate Dave invited me over last Tuesday to meet his newborn, and within four minutes of crossing the threshold, he proudly showed me the tiny, immaculate pair of Air Jordans heβd bought for his three-week-old child. The cultural expectation...
Why "Love You Like A Love Song" Saved My Sanity (A Letter)
Dear Jess from last November. You're currently sitting on the peeling linoleum in the hallway, hiding from a four-month-old who's screaming like a tiny banshee because you put him on his stomach. The Texas heat is absolutely brutal outside, our...
My Entirely Accidental Education on the Yamaha Baby Grand Piano
I was literally on my hands and knees on the living room rug, wearing those gray Lululemons with the hole in the left knee that my husband Dave absolutely hates, holding a bright yellow Stanley tape measure while my third...
Why I Googled "Baby Boi Carti" And Panicked About My Kids' Ears
It was Tuesday, 4:12 PM, and I was standing in the kitchen wearing my "bad day" sweatpantsβthe ones with the mystery yogurt stain on the left knee that I absolutely refuse to wash out because it feels like a monument...
The Real Meaning Behind Baby Blue Lyrics & The Actual Baby Blues
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to freestyle a soothing melody based purely on a song's title at three in the morning while holding an angry infant. I learned this the hard way. I've twin girls, which means my entire existence...
Why Finding the Perfect Baby Girl Song Actually Broke My Brain
It was 3:14 AM on a damp Tuesday in November, and the blue light from my phone was practically searing my corneas. I was sitting on the edge of the gray nursery gliderβthe one I insisted we needed because Pinterest...