The absolute best yarn for baby blanket knitting and buying
I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, sitting heavily on my living room rug in the dead of a Chicago winter, surrounded by four giant garbage bags of yarn. My mother-in-law had just dropped them off. She had this grand vision of...
When Can You Finally Stop Burping Your Baby?
It was 3:14 in the morning with my oldest, Carter. He was entirely milk-drunk, limp as a wet noodle, and dead asleep on my shoulder. And there I was, wide awake, rhythmically pounding on his tiny back like I was...
What to Write in a Baby Shower Book When You Are Out of Ideas
Before my wifeβs best friend had her first child, I found myself backed into a corner of her cramped London flat, holding a pristine copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and a biro that was rapidly running out of ink....
Why A Taylor Big Baby Fits My Nursery & My Ten-Pound Infant
Don't let your overly enthusiastic mother-in-law convince you to buy forty boxes of Size N diapers when your doctor says you're measuring three weeks ahead, y'all. I'm just gonna be real with you, that massive tower of pristine white Huggies...
The "stump tail baby lala" incident and other newborn horrors
It was 3:14 AM on our third day home from the hospital, and I was holding a freshly un-nappied twin at arm's length, staring in abject horror at her abdomen. Attached to her tiny, perfect belly was a shriveling, alien...
St Louis Ribs vs Baby Back: Which is Actually Safe for Your Baby
My mother-in-law told me handing my ten-month-old a rib bone was essentially attempted murder. My favorite internet momfluencer swore a massive rack of meat was the ultimate teething hack. And when I asked my pediatrician about it, she just gave...
Why That Reality TV Baby Drama Actually Made Me Scream
It was 3:14 AM, and I was pinned under my oldest son in a rocking chair that squeaked every time I shifted my weight. My C-section incision felt like it was actively unzipping, I smelled like sour milk, and my...
What I Actually Learned From The Mother Baby Nurse On My Worst Night
It was 4:12 AM and I was sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of my bathroom floor, leaking from literally everywhere. Maya was exactly four days old. My older kid, Leo, who was three at the time, was blessedly asleep...
Why your newborn sounds like a tiny restless barnyard animal
It's three in the morning and you're hovering over the bassinet with your phone flashlight half-covered by your thumb. You're doing this because the tiny human you birthed is making noises that belong in a barnyard. It's a mix of...