Why Every Baby Stock Image Is Lying to You About Safe Sleep
I was sitting on the floor of Leo's nurseryβwhich, by the way, was painted this color called "Sea Salt" that ultimately just looked like a bruised vein in the wrong lightβsweating entirely through my third nursing bra of the day....
Why Your Baby Keeps Deploying Their Tongue Like A Tiny Lizard
To: Marcus (from exactly 164 days ago) From: Marcus (current day, currently covered in mysterious sticky residue) Subject: URGENT: The tongue thing is not a hardware failure It's 2:14 AM in your timeline right now. The nursery temperature is exactly...
Why buying a baby snow suit is harder than hospital triage
My mother told me to wrap my son in three heavy wool blankets before taking him to the grocery store or he'd catch a chill and end up in the ICU, beta. My neighbor with the pristine neutral aesthetic told...
The Barefoot Myth and Why You Actually Need Baby Slippers
It was 2018, and I was standing in a ridiculously overpriced baby boutique in downtown Seattle wearing leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine in at least a week. I was holding my lukewarm vanilla latte in...
Why the Dilon Baby TikTok Trend Made Me Rethink Infant Hearing
It was 2:17 AM and I was wearing a grey maternity bra that I really should have thrown out in 2020, sitting in the absolute pitch black of the nursery. Four-month-old Maya was finally, miraculously asleep on my chest, dead...
Do Dogs Lose Baby Teeth? Surviving the Puppy Chewing Phase
Let me tell you about what NOT to do when you step on something sharp and calcified barefoot in your kitchen at six in the morning. Don't immediately assume your four-year-old somehow sleepwalked, knocked his face on the counter, and...
What Elon Musk's Expanding Family Taught This Pediatric Nurse
I was wiping a suspicious volume of spit-up off my scrub top in the pediatric ER breakroom when a resident handed me a magazine with another billionaire on the cover. Everyone was whispering about the latest elon musk baby addition,...
The newborn enchanting phase is mostly just exhaustion and bodily f...
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or possibly a Thursday, and I was lying flat on my back on the living room rug, holding a black-and-white card depicting a heavily stylized badger. I was holding this badger approximately ten...
The Late-Night Panic: When to Actually Worry About Your Baby's Fever
It's two in the morning and your hand is hovering over your sleeping kid's forehead like a malfunctioning drone. You finally make contact. They feel hot. Not just warm, but radiating heat like the exposed pipe in my old Wrigleyville...