Reality Check: What Love Is Blind's Megan Got Right About Postpartum
"Sleep when the infant sleeps," my grandmother told me at my baby shower, sipping her sweet tea. "Hire a postpartum doula for fifty dollars an hour to do your laundry," said a girl I went to college with who now...
Surviving the 3 AM Nappy Change: A Guide to Magnetic Clothing
Whatever you do, please don't buy the thirty-pack of traditional popper-fastened sleepsuits just because they look like a spectacular bargain on the internet. I did this. I thought I was being incredibly clever, outsmarting the entire infant apparel industry by...
When Do Babies Sleep 7pm to 7am? A Tired Mom's Truth
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-November, and I was standing in the middle of the nursery wearing a pair of maternity sweatpants that had a questionable yogurt stain on the thigh, rage-scrolling Instagram with my thumb while...
How the xiaoxia-baby webcam recorded my worst parenting moment
My mother-in-law firmly believes that baby monitors emit a mysterious frequency that turns infants into sleeper agents. My mate Dave, who treats fatherhood like a tactical military operation in hostile territory, insisted I needed a Β£300 dual-band Wi-Fi camera with...
Why We Tore Down The Nursery Walls At 3 AM For Blue Paper
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a wall painted a shade the DIY shop had optimistically called 'Sunshine Morning' but which, in the harsh glow of a dimmable nightlight, looked more like 'Aggressive Custard'....
What I Actually Learned From The Mother Baby Nurse On My Worst Night
It was 4:12 AM and I was sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of my bathroom floor, leaking from literally everywhere. Maya was exactly four days old. My older kid, Leo, who was three at the time, was blessedly asleep...
Why your newborn sounds like a tiny restless barnyard animal
It's three in the morning and you're hovering over the bassinet with your phone flashlight half-covered by your thumb. You're doing this because the tiny human you birthed is making noises that belong in a barnyard. It's a mix of...
Finding a CD Baby Coupon Code and Debugging Nursery Audio
My mother-in-law insisted we needed a booming surround-sound system pumping classical Mozart into the crib to guarantee our daughter would eventually understand advanced calculus. My lead engineer at work, who approaches parenting like a server migration, swore by absolute, vacuum-sealed...
The 3AM Savior: Decoding Baby Blue Daniel Caesar Lyrics
There's a very specific type of despair that sets in around 3:14 AM when one twin is screaming because the shadows on the wall are looking at her funny, and the other is methodically attempting to ingest the cardboard spine...