Why Every Baby to Kid Meme Feels Like a Literal Personal Attack
I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 11:14 PM last night, staring blankly at the bathroom tiles while my three-year-old staged a sit-in protest on the bath mat because the water I used to wash his hair...
How to Spot Real Baby Teething Symptoms (Without Losing Your Mind)
I was standing barefoot on the cold kitchen linoleum at 3:14 AM wearing a milk-stained baby tee from high school that had definitely seen better days, letting my six-month-old aggressively gnaw on my left index knuckle. My husband was practically...
Why The Netflix Baby-Sitters Club Cast Changed My Parenting
It was exactly 7:43 PM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a fleece robe that smelled vaguely of sour milk and desperation, and my seven-year-old, Maya, was asking me why the girl on the TV was talking on a phone...
Don't You Worry Baby Tyler: My Huge 2AM Nursery Mistake
It was 2:14 AM. I know the exact time because the glowing red numbers of the digital clock were burning a hole in my retinas. Maya was about four months old and going through that horrific sleep regression where they...
"Baby Please" Go To Sleep: My Messy Fourth Trimester Survival Guide
My mother-in-law told me to put a scoop of rice cereal in the nighttime bottle at two weeks old so the baby would sleep. The hospital lactation consultant told me if I even looked at a silicone pacifier I'd ruin...
Why we finally threw out our fancy baby lights (and what worked)
It's 2:43 AM. I'm holding my iPhone between my teeth like a tactical flashlight because I need both hands to manage a diaper blowout of catastrophic proportions. I take one step backward, my heel finds a rogue wooden block, and...
The Gone Baby Gone Cast Has Nothing on My 3 AM Detective Work
My mother swore he was just hungry, my hipster neighbor confidently diagnosed a "leap 6 sleep regression," and a random guy in my Portland coffee shop told me he was definitely sensing my own unresolved childhood trauma. Three totally different...
The Messy Truth About Surviving Your Baby's First Rhinovirus
I was sitting in the dark in my rocking chair at three in the morning, holding a six-month-old who sounded exactly like a broken coffee percolator. Snot was literally bubbling out of his left nostril with every breath. My oldest...
The Truth About The Saja Boys Baby: A Midnight Panic Explained
My nineteen-year-old babysitter, Kaylee, texted me at 9 PM asking if my youngest was a "Saja fan." My mom, who overheard me reading the text out loud while folding a mountain of burp cloths, immediately warned me that loud foreign...