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Why That October 8th Beanie Baby Birthday Twin Belongs on a Shelf
My mother-in-law brought over Bo the Portuguese Water Dog last week. She proudly announced he was an October 8th beanie baby, which meant he was my daughter's exact birthday twin. My sister-in-law immediately texted me to put it in the...
A Note From The Future About That October 6 Beanie Baby Idea
Dear Marcus from six months ago, you're currently hovering your cursor over the "Buy It Now" button on eBay at 2:14 AM while your five-month-old is finally asleep after what felt like a system-wide hardware failure. You've just discovered that...
Dear past me, that vintage october 20th beanie baby is a trap
Listen, Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the living room rug, staring at a crushed cardboard box that just arrived from your auntie in New Jersey. Inside is a pristine, tag-protected raccoon named Snoops. You're thinking it's incredibly...
Why That Vintage March 17 Beanie Baby Belongs on a High Shelf
I was literally sitting on the living room floor, knee-deep in a mountain of unfolded toddler shirts and cardboard shipping boxes for my Etsy shop, when the front screen door slammed. My mom breezed into the house carrying a cloudy...
The Honest Truth About Finding A March 13 Beanie Baby For Your Kid
I'm sitting on my couch at two in the morning, bathed in the blue light of my phone, watching a twenty-three-year-old mother weep on her timeline because she finally found 'Celebrate' on a resale app. That's the specific vintage stuffed...
The kriss_baby_ leaks webcam scare: Why I tossed our monitor
My husband was standing in the hallway in his underwear at two in the morning, aggressively poking the back of our internet router with a bent paperclip while swearing under his breath. I was sitting on the floor of the...
Why that july 21st beanie baby is a nursery nightmare
Listen, it was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday when my mother-in-law proudly handed me a plastic grocery bag that smelled faintly of mothballs and damp basement. Inside was Bijoux the Poodle, a vintage plush toy with a faded...
The Night "Sugar Baby Production" Ruined My Search History
It's exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the glowing blue square of the baby monitor is showing me the night-vision outline of my eleven-month-old son doing something that looks suspiciously like a plank. He has been teething for what...
Why You Should Never Put a september 25th beanie baby in a Crib
It was 2017, it was roughly 3:14 in the morning, and I was wearing Daveβs old college track sweatshirt that had a mysterious, permanent yogurt stain right on the collar. Maya wasn't even a thought yet, and Leo was exactly...