How a Baby Horse Name Crashed My Naming Spreadsheet
I was staring at row 842 of my master Google Sheet when the system finally broke down. Column A contained the potential name. Column B tracked the syllable count. Column C was tied to a Python script I wrote to...
The Complete Nightmare of Choosing a Baby Girl Name
I was thirty-four hours post-C-section, wearing those horrific mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and desperation, just staring at this blank government form. The birth certificate lady was hovering by the door holding...
Why The Sudden Obsession With Baby Rosalina Threw Me For A Loop
It was exactly 4:12 PM on a rainy Thursday, and I was wearing my husband Dave's oversized college sweatshirt which smells faintly of old garlic and desperation, staring completely dead-eyed at our living room TV. Maya, my seven-year-old, was sobbing...
Lil Baby Real Name & The Glitch Of Naming Your First Human
The intake nurse stood at the foot of the hospital bed holding an iPad like a threat, her stylus hovering over a blank text field while the beeping of the fetal monitor mocked my indecision. My wife was exhausted, heavily...
Why the Trisha Paytas Baby Drama Makes Me Rethink Parenting
Don't crowd-source your baby's identity on the internet, and definitely don't let your mother-in-law's passive-aggressive text messages dictate how you announce your kid to the world. I learned this the hard way when I created a literal feedback form for...
Top Baby Names: Picking One Without Starting a Family Feud
I was sitting at my kitchen island at 37 weeks pregnant with my oldest, eating dry cereal out of the box, staring at a yellow legal pad that looked like the diary of a madman. It was just a giant...
Why We Chose Southern Baby Girl Names for London Twins
Picture the exact opposite of a sun-drenched veranda in Savannah. It's 3:47 in the morning at a central London hospital. Outside, the rain is aggressively lashing against the window in that distinctly British, soul-destroying way that makes you question why...
The brutal reality of picking rare names for your daughter
I spent three years working the night shift on the maternity floor at Rush. You want to know the actual hardest part of the job. It wasn't the meconium blowouts or the frantic monitor alarms at two in the morning....
The Great 3AM Hunt for Baby Girl Names Starting With V
The glow of the laptop screen at three in the morning is a uniquely hostile type of light, especially when itβs illuminating a spreadsheet containing seventy-four potential names for a human being you haven't even met yet. Outside our London...