Surviving Babyβs First New Year's Eve Without Losing Your Mind
I spent my oldest sonβs first New Yearβs Eve sitting on the tile floor of our guest bathroom in the pitch black, violently shushing him while my husband stuffed rolled-up towels under the door frame. Jackson was barely seven months...
Surviving the Absolute Chaos of Your Baby First Food Milestone
There's a very specific sound that pureed sweet potato makes when it hits a freshly painted Victorian ceiling, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that it resembles a wet golf ball striking mud. I was standing in our...
The Real Baby Fever Meaning: From Cute Cravings to 2 AM Panics
I was standing in the baby aisle of a Target in 2014, wearing one of those aggressively chunky infinity scarves that were a literal choke hazard, weeping into my overpriced iced Americano. A woman had just walked past me wearing...
The Truth About Baby Fat and Why My Doctor Said Stop Stressing
I was sitting on the crinkly paper of the exam table at our pediatricianβs office, practically sweating through my shirt, while my middle child Wyatt sat there looking like a dinner roll that had just exploded out of its tin....
Why My Spine Hated Me Until I Finally Figured Out Baby Ergo Rules
It was August 2019 at the Blanco County Fair, and I was actively regretting every life decision that had led me to that exact moment. I was sweating through a cheap polyester carrier Iβd grabbed off a clearance rack, my...
Surviving the Baby Mozart Delusion With Two Extremely Loud Twins
It was 3:14 AM on a dismal, rain-soaked London Tuesday, and I was pinned to the sofa beneath two howling six-month-olds, frantically jabbing at my phone with my nose. I was trying to skip a shockingly loud Spotify advert for...
Is That Tiny Baby Nutribullet Actually Worth Your Counter Space?
I was standing in my kitchen staring at a raw sweet potato like it had personally offended me, completely paralyzed by the sheer volume of conflicting advice Iβd received in the last forty-eight hours. My mother-in-law had just been leaning...
Dear Past Me: Let's Talk About Baby Constipation And The Panic
You're sitting on the edge of the bathtub right now, staring at a dry diaper under the harsh bathroom light. The exhaust fan is rattling above you. It's three in the morning, and you're exhausted, holding a sleeping infant against...
Why Looking Up Movies For Your Infant Son Is A Terrible Idea
My phone buzzed at two in the morning during a particularly brutal night feed last week. It was a text from my cousin in Seattle, containing a screenshot of a Hulu search page and a question about whether a specific...