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11-month-oldbaby sleepmillennialparenting humorpop culture
Exhausted dad holding his 11 month old son while looking at a smartphone in a dark nursery

Why the True Story of Brenda's Got A Baby Changed My Parenting

It was 3:14 AM. I know the exact time because I track every single one of my son's sleep disturbances in a spreadsheet, like some sort of deranged data analyst trying to find a pattern in pure chaos. I was...

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11-month-oldbaby behaviorboundariesearly developmentmillennialparenting humor
An exhausted dad sitting on the floor surrounded by baby toys

Debugging the Bratty G Baby Phase Before You Lose Your Mind

Yesterday, my 11-month-old threw a shoe at my head because I wouldn't let him eat a handful of potting soil, which prompted three completely different unsolicited diagnoses from the people in my life. My mom, who aggressively refers to him...

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11-month-oldbaby showerbaby shower themeseco-friendlyfatherhoodmillennial
Dad tracking baby shower food temperatures while holding wooden toys

Debugging the Pinterest Algorithm: Our Boy Baby Shower Theme Saga

It was 10:42 PM on a Tuesday when the algorithm finally broke me. My wife, Sarah, was asleep on my shoulder, but her phone was still unlocked in her hand, illuminating the dark bedroom with an endless, scrolling matrix of...

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11-month-oldauditory safetyinfant safetymillennialparenting humorpop culture
Dad holding an 11-month-old baby in a living room next to a smart speaker.

Bigbang Fantastic Baby: A Dad's Guide to Infant Auditory Safety

It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. I'm standing in the exact center of our living room in Portland, holding an 11-month-old who's currently wearing only a diaper and one mismatched sock, while the opening synth chords of a legendary 2012...

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11-month-old6-month-oldbaby cryingbaby developmentinfant sleepparenting humor
An exhausted dad staring at his phone while a baby cries in the background

The 'Is Your Baby Crying Meme' Explained: A Letter To Past Me

3:14 AM. The Apple Watch on my wrist is vibrating, aggressively warning me that the ambient noise level has reached 95 decibelsβ€”roughly the equivalent of standing next to a gas-powered lawnmower. The noise source is exactly fourteen inches from my...

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11-month-oldbehaviorearly developmentfatherhoodmillennialparenting humor
A sleep-deprived dad holding an 11-month-old baby in a modern kitchen.

Raising a King Baby: Truby King, 3 AM Googling, and Tiny Tyrants

The whole mental collapse started at exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, which is historically the time my brain decides to compile all its worst processing errors into one massive system failure. I had grand plans for this particular weekendβ€”I...

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11-month-oldchoking hazardscultural traditionsholidayparenthoodsafe play
A small plastic figurine sitting next to a slice of colorful frosted pastry on a wooden table.

Debugging The King Cake Baby Hazard: A Warning To My Past Self

Dear Marcus of six months ago: Put the fork down. Back away from the pastry. I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting at the kitchen island in the Portland rain, staring at a slice of aggressively colored purple,...

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11-month-oldbaby gearearly developmentmillennialparenting anxiety
Marcus looking stressed at a smartphone with baby toys scattered on the floor

Lil Baby Arrested: Pop Culture Headlines and Real Parenting Fears

"Let him sit in a holding cell overnight to learn a harsh lesson about consequences," my older brother texted me after I frantically asked our family group chat for theoretical legal advice. "Lawyer up instantly, don't let the cops even...

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11-month-oldbaby developmentorganic baby clothesparenting humorsafe play
Dad looking confused at his phone while an 11-month-old baby rolls on a wooden play gym

My Massive Mistake With the Lil Baby Freestyle Playlist Search

The Sonos speaker in our living room was blinking white, which meant it was finally connected to my phone and ready to receive data. My 11-month-old son was sitting on the rug, staring blankly at the wall, waiting for some...

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