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Debugging the Baby Bag: The Mobile Hardware You Actually Need
I'm standing on the wet sidewalk outside Stumptown Coffee on SE Belmont, holding my eleven-month-old son at arm's length like he's a highly unstable radioactive isotope. It's forty-three degrees, misting in that relentless Pacific Northwest way, and my child has...
The real baby driver 2: A letter to my past self about car seat panic
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently idling in the driveway of the Hawthorne Fred Meyer in your Subaru. The engine is running. The heater is set exactly to 70 degrees because you read somewhere that anything else will...
Surviving New York With Twins: An Albee Baby Survival Guide
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently standing outside a Pret A Manger in Heathrow Terminal 5, confidently holding two passports covered in a sticky, mysterious residue. Florence is attempting to dismantle a display of stale croissants with the...
Why Rescuing That Adorable Coastal Baby Seal Is A Terrible Idea
We were twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a restorative family morning on a Cornish shingle beach, locked in a desperate battle with a pop-up windbreak that refused to pop anywhere but directly into my face, when Twin...
Secrets Baby Beach Aruba: The Midnight Hotel Panic
It was 2:14 AM, and I was wearing a fleece bathrobe over a maternity bathing suit top because my four-month-old, Leo, had just spit up breastmilk all over my favorite oversized college tee. My husband Dave was snoring in the...
The Real Story Behind Keeping Your Kid Alive in the Backseat
The discharge nurse was watching me. We were on level three of the Northwestern Memorial parking garage, the Chicago wind was howling through the concrete pillars, and my husband was weeping silently while trying to wrestle a five-pound infant into...
Surviving the Sand: The Truth About Newborn Beach Clothes
We were standing on the windswept expanse of a Cornwall beach, holding two four-month-old twins who were dressed entirely in matching hand-knitted merino wool cardigans. My wife had envisioned a deeply aesthetic Instagram moment featuring the moody British coastline and...
The Truth About Buying a Baby Cam Car Monitor for Your Sanity
We were somewhere around mile marker 240 on Interstate 35, completely surrounded by pitch-black Texas cattle country, when the panic hit me. Jackson was three months old, my first baby, and he had been screaming for forty-five minutes straight before...
The Reality of a Burning Man Baby 2025: A Desert Survival Guide
I'm currently sitting on the floor of our London terrace, spraying a fine mist of diluted white vinegar onto a two-year-old's arm while she actively tries to consume a pair of industrial welding goggles. We're supposedly preparing for the playa....