Magazine
Debugging the baby shark phase: Viral videos and double teeth
Don't ever assume an algorithm knows how to soothe your kid better than you do. I learned this the hard way at a coffee shop on Hawthorne last Tuesday, thinking a quick blast of YouTube would act as a temporary...
The Truth About The Baby Driver Movie And Actual Car Seat Safety
Let's talk about the biggest, fattest lie the universe feeds expecting parents: that babies inherently love riding in the car. You know the exact myth I'm talking about. You've probably seen those pristine, beige-aesthetic moms on Instagram claiming that all...
The Brutally Honest Guide to Surviving the Baby Gear Avalanche
When I was pregnant with my first, I got three completely different pieces of advice in the span of a single Sunday dinner. My mom, who firmly believes the 1990s were the peak of human parenting, told me I needed...
The brutal truth about picking baby names that won't ruin them
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen at twenty weeks pregnant to gently suggest that our child's name needed to reflect our deep ancestral roots. Later that afternoon, my hipster neighbor in Logan Square casually mentioned over the fence that...
Dear Priya: The newborn beach outfit you actually need
You're currently standing on Oak Street Beach. You're sweating through your linen button-down. Your three-month-old is screaming a pitch usually reserved for the NICU triage desk. And that expensive white eyelet romper you bought? It's covered in seagull droppings, damp...
The Real Reason My Babies Live in Sleeveless Summer Bodysuits
I was standing next to a kiddie pool in my sister-in-lawβs backyard, sweat pooling entirely too fast in my nursing bra, staring down at my firstborn son who looked like a boiled hot dog. It was the Fourth of July...
Surviving the Sand: The Truth About Newborn Beach Clothes
We were standing on the windswept expanse of a Cornwall beach, holding two four-month-old twins who were dressed entirely in matching hand-knitted merino wool cardigans. My wife had envisioned a deeply aesthetic Instagram moment featuring the moody British coastline and...
The 3AM Rescue: Why a Jersey Knit Swaddle Blanket Saved Me
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the dark kitchen in a pair of stained maternity leggings that I had supposedly retired three weeks prior, just staring at my newborn son. Leo was three...
Buying schΓΆne kleider fΓΌr kinder: A dad's dress debugging
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday when the mobility crisis officially peaked. My eleven-month-old daughter, Maya, was stranded in the middle of our living room rug, her knees firmly pinned to the floor by an excessive layer of synthetic...