Magazine
Don't You Worry Baby Tyler: My Huge 2AM Nursery Mistake
It was 2:14 AM. I know the exact time because the glowing red numbers of the digital clock were burning a hole in my retinas. Maya was about four months old and going through that horrific sleep regression where they...
Troubleshooting the Santa Baby Holiday Aesthetic
Last Tuesday at exactly 6:14 PM, I found myself locked in a physical struggle with a miniature velvet suit. My 11-month-old daughter was screaming like I'd just permanently uninstalled her favorite game, and my wife was standing in the doorway...
What Elon Musk's Expanding Family Taught This Pediatric Nurse
I was wiping a suspicious volume of spit-up off my scrub top in the pediatric ER breakroom when a resident handed me a magazine with another billionaire on the cover. Everyone was whispering about the latest elon musk baby addition,...
The newborn enchanting phase is mostly just exhaustion and bodily f...
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or possibly a Thursday, and I was lying flat on my back on the living room rug, holding a black-and-white card depicting a heavily stylized badger. I was holding this badger approximately ten...
Decoding European Baby Formula When You Are Running on No Sleep
The timestamp on our smart nursery thermometer read 3:14 AM. I was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen tiles, surrounded by three different brands of domestic baby powder, a sticky bottle, and a 4-month-old who sounded like a dial-up modem failing...
The Truth About Those Evo Baby Dragon Decks Everyone Is Playing
I was sitting on the living room rug yesterday, knee-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks, when I got three completely different pieces of advice about the exact same problem. My mom called and told me boys just naturally...
The Brutal Reality of Buying an Extra Wide Baby Gate For Your Home
My mother-in-law told me to just line up the heavy dining room chairs to block the living room archway. My neighbor at the park swore by those wooden accordion things from the nineties, completely ignoring the massive strangulation risk. The...
Why Family Ties Baby Keem Is Wrecking Your Smart Speaker
My mom swore that piping classical Mozart into the nursery would turn my kids into literal baby Einsteins, bless her heart. My oldest kid's preschool teacher insisted we stick exclusively to acoustic farm animal songs if we wanted decent behavioral...
Why I Finally Let My Kids Listen to Fantastic Baby Lyrics
It was 2:14 PM on a rainy Tuesday, I was wearing a nursing tank top that smelled strongly of old milk and desperation, and my husband Dave was having a full-blown basement rave with our then six-month-old daughter, Maya. Like,...