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Why I Threw Away Every Regular Onesie During the First Month
It was day three postpartum with my oldest, and I was sweating like a sinner in church. He was screaming that high-pitched, breathless newborn wail. He'd just delivered a mustard-yellow blowout of epic proportions. I was staring at his umbilical...
The brutal truth about buying an infant knit romper for your kid
My mother called from San Jose on a Tuesday to warn me that wool would give my baby a rash that would scar him for life. The very next morning, my sister-in-law swore that unless I put him in thick...
Decoding the Knitted Romper: A Dad's Guide to Baby Hardware
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Tuesday to declare that any kind of woven wool would immediately give the baby a full-body rash. Ten minutes later, my neighbor—a guy who brews his own kombucha in a garage—leaned over...
The Blanket Stroller Mistake: Why I Stopped Making Pram Nap Tents
It was exactly 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and my weather app claimed it was 81.4 degrees in southeast Portland. My eleven-month-old son was in the middle of a sleep regression that felt like a malicious firmware update, and I...
Debugging the Base Layer: A Dad’s Guide to Bodysuit Blanks
Before my son was born, I received three distinct pieces of base-layer advice that completely crashed my internal logic board. My mother insisted I needed to wrap the baby in three layers of fleece because our Portland house is drafty....
Why I Finally Ditched Cotton for Bamboo Mini Crib Sheets
There I was in a La Quinta Inn somewhere outside of Waco, wrestling a sandpaper-stiff cotton sheet over a travel mattress at two in the morning while my oldest, Tucker, screamed like he was being exorcised. Every time I got...
The real deal about that green baby tee and toxic wellness fads
I was three hours into a night shift in the pediatric ER when a very tired, very trendy mom rushed in with an eight-month-old who was vibrating like a cheap pager. His resting heart rate was through the roof. After...
Why My First Baby Cardigan Knitting Pattern Was A Total Disaster
We were somewhere between Waco and Austin on I-35 when the screaming reached a pitch I didn't even know a human vocal cord could produce. I made my husband pull the truck over into a Buc-ee's parking lot, scrambled into...
The reality of vintage infant dresses: A dad's survival guide
I'm currently sweating profusely in the back of a moderately priced Italian restaurant in zone three, trying to force a writhing twenty-four-month-old's chubby arm through a rigid sleeve made of 1950s stiffened lace. My daughter, sensing my rising panic, arches...