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The Cucumber Protocol: From Slippery Hazards to Teething Hacks
It's 6:15 AM in our Portland kitchen, and I'm staring at a cutting board with a digital caliper in my hand. My wife, Sarah, is pouring her coffee, watching me measure a wet green vegetable down to the millimeter. "It...
The myth of the aesthetic baby suji bowl and what to do instead
Scraping hardened semolina off the ceiling fan wasn't exactly what I pictured when my mother-in-law told me suji would be the perfect first food for my son. I'm standing on a dining chair with a butter knife, chipping away at...
My Chaotic Weekend Learning How to Smoke Baby Back Ribs With Kids
I was elbow-deep in raw pork juice at 6:15 AM on a Saturday, staring blankly at a massive, slippery cut of meat while Maya, who's seven and currently entrenched in her "question everything" phase, stood three inches from my hip...
St Louis Ribs vs Baby Back: Which is Actually Safe for Your Baby
My mother-in-law told me handing my ten-month-old a rib bone was essentially attempted murder. My favorite internet momfluencer swore a massive rack of meat was the ultimate teething hack. And when I asked my pediatrician about it, she just gave...
Surviving the great weaning transition of 2022
It was precisely 11:14 am on a Tuesday, and I was standing on a dining chair trying to scrape what appeared to be organic beige cement off the kitchen ceiling with a silicone spatula. The twins were exactly six months...
Realistic Baby Puree Recipes (And My Exploding Blender Disaster)
It was 4:12 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing on a dining chair scraping aggressively orange sweet potato mush off my kitchen ceiling with a spatula. I was wearing my favorite cream-colored cashmere blend sweaterβbecause apparently, sleep deprivation...
How Long to Smoke Baby Back Ribs Without Ruining Saturday
It was 5:42 PM on a Saturday in July, and I was sweating through a gray tank top that already had a suspicious smear of Sweet Baby Ray's on the hip. My husband was standing on the patio, staring into...
Troubleshooting BBQ: Baby Back Ribs vs Spare Ribs for Babies
There we were in our backyard, forty-five minutes into a rare sunny Portland afternoon, when I casually handed my 11-month-old son, Leo, a massive, sauce-drenched spare rib. In my sleep-deprived brain, this seemed like a brilliant Baby-Led Weaning victory. I...
That First Slippery Baby Pear And The Constipation Chronicles
My thumb was covered in aquaphor and desperation. It was day four of the great solid-food bowel strike, and my son was looking at me like I had betrayed him. Starting solids at six months is heavily romanticized on the...