Magazine

Tired dad looking at his phone in a dark Portland nursery

The 50 Cent Baby Momma Drama Broke My Brain at 3 AM

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my eleven-month-old was emitting a continuous, low-frequency hum that sounded exactly like a failing server fan. I was sitting on the floor of his nursery in the Portland rain, staring at the...

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A concerned mom holding a newborn with the classic mottling baby skin pattern.

My Late Night Freakout Over Purple Lacy Skin and What I Know Now

It was October 2017, and my daughter Maya was exactly eleven days old. I remember this specifically because I was wearing an oversized grey nursing tank that I hadn't washed since we left the hospital, and I had a half-empty...

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Marcus reading a book next to a sleeping baby in a dim Portland nursery

Minka Kelly's Memoir and the Parenting Bugs We Can't Fix

Don't, under any circumstances, ask your postpartum wife if she's crying because the Wi-Fi dropped while she's reading in the dark. I learned this at exactly 3:14 AM last Tuesday. The eerie blue glow of her Kindle was illuminating the...

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Sarah holding a smashed wifi baby monitor next to a tangled cord in a nursery

The kriss_baby_ Webcam Hack: Unplugging Our Nursery Wi-Fi Camera

I was standing in Leo’s nursery at 2:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's stretched-out boxer briefs and a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and utter desperation, holding a chunk of painted drywall in my left hand....

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Frustrated mom taking a tablet away from a toddler sitting on a playmat

Why the baby fairy is a villainess trend ruined my whole week

I caught my teenage niece slipping her iPad to my two-year-old at Sunday dinner. The screen was a wash of pastel pinks, featuring a big-eyed, rosy-cheeked toddler in a frilly dress. I was tired. I was eating cold palak paneer....

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Stressed mom holding coffee and looking at her phone next to a sleeping baby

The 2 AM Google Spiral About Baby Milestones

It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday. Or maybe Wednesday? Time doesn't actually exist when you've an eleven-month-old who treats sleep like a hostile negotiation. I was sitting on the floor of Maya's nursery, wearing Dave's grey zip-up...

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Jess messy living room with kids playing independently on a bamboo blanket

How I Finally Learned To Say Don't Worry Baby To My Own Brain

I was hunched over the bassinet at 3:14 AM with my phone flashlight covered by two of my fingers, desperately counting the seconds between my oldest son's breaths. I had convinced myself that because he paused his breathing for seven...

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Tired parents sitting on the floor of a messy baby nursery at night

What the Dijon Baby Album Got Right About New Parent Anxiety

It was 2:13 AM, and my husband was sitting on the edge of the bathtub just staring at the tile grout while our oldestβ€”who's basically a walking cautionary tale for why you shouldn't blindly trust anything you read in a...

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Marcus looking exhausted while holding a spreadsheet about mosquito repellant and a baby bodysuit.

The Zika Baby Panic: What My Pediatrician Actually Told Me

I was staring at the smeared remains of a mosquito on my laptop screen when Sarah walked into the home office, holding our eleven-month-old like a football and looking highly alarmed. We were supposed to fly to a wedding in...

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