The Great Blowout Disaster: What I Learned About Baby Clothes
I was standing in the glow of a turtle-shaped nightlight at 3:14 AM, holding a screaming Jackson at armβs length like he was a ticking bomb made entirely of mustard-colored liquid. He was exactly four weeks old. The blowout had...
3 AM Blowouts and the Brutal Truth About a Baby Onesie
It was three in the morning in our drafty Chicago apartment when the smell hit me. Not the standard sweet-sour milk smell, but a toxic, biological hazard level stench that wakes you from a dead sleep. I flipped on the...
My very messy, tear-filled attempt at babydecke stricken
It was 3 AM on a Tuesday in November 2016, and I was sitting cross-legged on our hideous, scratchy brown living room rug. I was seven months pregnant with Leo, wearing my husband Daveβs oversized college hoodie, and I was...
The Brutal Truth About Heirloom Crochet Baby Blanket Patterns
3 AM in pediatric triage is a specific kind of purgatory. The fluorescent lights hum, everything smells vaguely of bleach, and you're running on stale coffee and adrenaline. I was three years into my nursing career when a frantic grandmother...
ZΓ€hne Baby: The Brutal Truth About Surviving the Teething Apocalypse
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday when I woke up to a sound I can only describe as a hyperactive beaver trapped in the nursery. I stumbled in, entirely blind, and found Maya standing in her cot, aggressively gnawing...
The reality of baby sizes and why age labels are lying to you
I was sweating through my postpartum shirt, trying to fold my three-week-old son's arm into a rigid denim jacket labeled zero-to-three months for a mandatory family photo. His arm was stuck at a strange right angle while he screamed, and...
Real Talk About Baby Clothes for Girls (And What Actually Works)
I'm currently staring at a photo of my oldest daughter from four years ago, and y'all, I need to issue a public apology to this child. She is exactly three weeks old in the picture, screaming her tiny, bald head...
The Truth About Suntan Lotion for Newborns (And Summer Survival)
It was 28 degrees in London, which means the pavements were melting, the Central Line had become a mobile sauna, and everyone was suddenly terribly aggressive about acquiring ice lollies. I was standing in the sun care aisle of Boots,...
Debugging Newborn BabytΓΈj: A First-Time Dad's Guide to V1.0 Hardware
Itβs 3:14 AM on our second night home from the hospital, and Iβm staring at a tiny, floppy human trying to figure out how to get a rigid cotton shirt over his head. His neck has zero structural integrity. Itβs...