The Only Survival Gear You Actually Need for a Newborn
I was standing in the middle of aisle four with that stupid plastic scanning gun in my hand, watching my husband happily zap a $400 wipe warmer. I had to physically pry the scanner out of his grip. My brain...
The Brutal Truth About Baby Products From A Tired Nurse
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. I was sitting on my Chicago apartment floor surrounded by thirty-two cardboard boxes of varying sizes, smelling vaguely of spit-up and fenugreek. My son was three weeks old and screaming in that specific...
The Brutal Truth About Pacifiers When Everyone Has an Opinion
I was sitting in the hospital bed on day two with my oldest, icing parts of my body I didn't know could swell, when the advice assault began. The hospital lactation consultant pointed a stern finger at my overnight bag...
Dear Past Me: The Ugly, Honest Truth About Useless Baby Mittens
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're standing in your sister's nursery, surrounded by a mountain of crumpled tissue paper and tiny, impossibly small socks. You're holding a little mesh bag of baby mβwait, what are these even called?...
The Honest Truth About Switching to Neutral Baby Clothing Basics
I'm standing in my laundry room right now, staring at a hot pink, tulle-skirted monstrosity that says "Daddy's Little Princess" in scratchy sequins. My oldest daughter wore it exactly once. She screamed for forty-five minutes straight until her face was...
The Happiest Baby Guide for Exhausted, Sleep-Deprived Parents
It was 3:17 AM in the dead of a humid Texas summer, and I was standing in my living room wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk, doing frantic deep knee bends while aggressively hissing into my...
Figuring out exactly how old is lil baby and surviving year one
It's 3:17 AM in Chicago. The radiator is hissing. I'm sitting in a glider that smells faintly of sour milk, staring at my phone. I'm so violently sleep-deprived that I've somehow fallen down a Wikipedia rabbit hole trying to figure...
Mustela Baby Skincare: A Letter To My Exhausted Past Self
You're sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of our Chicago bathroom right now. It's three in the morning. The baby is screaming in the tub. His skin looks like an angry, red topographic map of the Rockies, and you're staring...
Surviving the Laundry: A Real Guide to Newborn Baby Clothes
I'm currently staring at a laundry basket overflowing with tiny, mustard-yellow stained garments, drinking a cup of coffee that went cold somewhere around eight this morning. Between packing up orders for my Etsy shop and keeping my toddler from feeding...