Magazine

Baby in a 1970s style organic cotton bell-bottom outfit crawling on a living room rug

Dressing Your Infant in a Devil's Rejects Baby Firefly Costume

The single biggest myth in modern parenting is the delusion that your infant is a blank, cooperative canvas for your own deeply specific pop-culture obsessions. I discovered this entirely too late while trying to explain to a very judgmental woman...

Read more

Exhausted mom in hospital bed staring at newborn baby yawning

So, Can Your Newborn Really Be Born With Teeth? (My Freakout)

The biggest, most universally accepted myth about giving birth is that you're going to be handed this perfect, squishy, entirely gummy little blob of a human. I fully believed this. I thought I had at least six solid months of...

Read more

Toddler girl wearing a cloth baby doll carrier holding a stuffed bear

The Absolute Absurdity of the Baby Doll Carrier (And Why We Own Two)

My mother-in-law firmly believes that giving a two-year-old their own miniature baby wearing apparatus is mildly ridiculous and encourages them to grow up entirely too fast. The woman at our Tuesday morning playgroupβ€”who wears floor-length unbleached linen in the dead...

Read more

Mom sitting on a nursery floor playing pretty little baby chords while baby watches

Why Learning Pretty Little Baby Chords Beats Playing Mozart

Three years ago, I was sitting on my cheap living room rug, sweating through my nursing tank top, frantically trying to sync a Bluetooth speaker to a twelve-hour Spotify playlist called "Mozart For Genius Brain Development." My oldest son, the...

Read more

A stressed father looking at his hands while holding a baby

The Unexpected Hazard of Press-On Nails During the Baby Years

I was on my hands and knees in the living room, aggressively parting the fibres of our Berber rug like a forensic investigator looking for a microscopic weapon. Chloe, my sister-in-law, hovered above me near the sofa, clutching a lukewarm...

Read more

Exhausted British dad reading a fantasy webtoon on his phone while holding twin babies in the dark.

Lord Baby Runs a Romance Fantasy With Cash 92 vs. My Twins

The digital clock on the nursery wall glared at me: 3:14 AM. The room smelled distinctly of stale Calpol and desperation. In the left cot, Evie was violently chewing the wooden bars like a tiny, furious beaver. In the right...

Read more

A tired mom holding a coffee mug while her baby plays on a wooden play gym.

Why Chasing the Myth of the Unicorn Baby Nearly Ruined My First Year

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the floor of the nursery in a tragically stained Nirvana t-shirt that smelled heavily of sour milk and desperation. Maya was three months old, and she was screaming....

Read more

Mom looking shocked at a tablet screen while her toddler plays with wooden toys on the floor.

The Baby Fairy is a Villain Manhwa Is Definitely Not for Kids

I was sitting on the sticky playroom floor last Tuesday, nursing my youngest while trying to fish a dried Cheerio out of my hair, when my oldest son Carter casually peered over my shoulder at my iPad. I had just...

Read more

Mom cleaning up a spilled dark craft beer next to a baby play mat and scattered wooden toys.

Dear Past Jess: What You Need to Know About Sweet Baby Jesus Beer

I'm currently sitting on the floor of the den with a bottle of carpet cleaner in one hand and a rag in the other, aggressively scrubbing a dark, sticky stain out of the rug while my one-year-old screams from the...

Read more