The Reality Of Raising Kids And Baby Boomers
There I was on a Tuesday afternoon, up to my elbows in purΓ©ed peas, trying to keep the twins from using our poor golden retriever as a step stool, when my mom walked through the back door holding a drop-side...
Surviving the Baby Boomer Years of Grandparenting
Don't, under any circumstances, politely accept the garbage bag full of your own crusty childhood stuffed animals just because your mom has misty eyes. I did this when my oldest was born, and let me tell you, it was a...
Why Our Family Bed Needed a Giant Organic Cotton Blanket
It was 3:14 AM on a random Tuesday, and I was pinned to the extreme left edge of my own mattress by a sweaty, aggressively kicking toddler foot. Maya was three at the time. My right arm was completely numb...
Looking for Baby Goats for Sale in Cobleskill? Read This
I'm currently hiding in the downstairs loo while my two-year-old twin daughters attempt to dismantle a perfectly good Amazon box in the hallway, and I'm furiously scrolling through listings for baby goats for sale in cobleskill on my phone. You...
The Late-Night Google Search That Broke My Brain
It was 11:42 PM on a Tuesday, and I was frantically debugging my son's upcoming Halloween costume from the faint glow of my phone screen while he slept in the next room. He's 11 months old now, which means he's...
The Baby Chick Temperature Chart (And Why I Stopped Checking It)
I was sitting on the edge of the guest bathtub at two in the morning, holding an infrared thermometer gun like a radar detector, pointing it directly at five day-old baby chicks huddled in a plastic storage tote. My wife...
Comforting Baby Loss Quotes: Finding Words When You're Grieving
"At least you know your plumbing still works!" That was my well-meaning but completely clueless aunt, standing way too close to my face in the hospital room while I was still wearing those god-awful mesh underwear and bleeding through a...
When Your Brother Asks You to Help Pick a Memorial Marker
The fluorescent lighting in the monument showroom was humming at a frequency that felt like a localized cyber-attack on my nervous system. I was sitting at a faux-wood desk next to my older brother, Dave, staring at a catalog of...
My Brother's Cry Baby Bubble Gum Gag Gift Caused a Full System Panic
My brother Dave stood in our kitchen holding a plastic tub shaped like a giant teardrop, grinning like he had just solved a complex algorithm. Dave is 28, works in crypto, and his entire frame of reference for human infants...