Why parents who try to watch baby driver get weird search results
My mom called on a Tuesday to say I needed to buy a "baby driver" immediately because that's supposedly how I learned to walk in 1993. Four hours later, my frontend lead Slacked me a link saying I had to...
The Scary Truth: What Is RSV In Babies (And How We Survived)
It was 2:14 in the morning, and I was staring at my four-month-old daughter's ribcage in the glow of a turtle-shaped nightlight, convinced I was losing my mind. Maya is seven now, but I still get full-body hives when I...
What My Pediatrician Said About Playing Lil Baby Around My Toddler
My brother-in-law swore that playing heavy trap beats would make my son sleep through absolutely anything. My mother-in-law heard ten seconds of a track and claimed I was ruining his spiritual aura. My doctor just blinked at me tiredly and...
Finding the Sugar Baby Mod Sims 4 on My Niece's PC Screen Last Week
I was sitting on my sister's aggressively beige sectional in Naperville, enjoying thirty seconds of silence. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs. I was watching the green night-vision feed on the baby m screen, just waiting for the inevitable moment...
The 3 AM Monitor Panic: Surviving The Stomach Sleeping Phase
The glowing screen of the baby monitor was blinding in the pitch-black bedroom, and my heart was hammering against my ribs at roughly 140 beats per minute. It was 3:14 AM. The temperature in the nursery was exactly 69.4 degrees,...
When to Take a Baby With RSV to the Hospital: A Nurse's Guide
I usually sit in the dark next to the crib at 2 AM, listening to my toddler breathe like a congested pug, and think about all the terrified first-time parents I used to triage. Back when I wore scrubs instead...
Parenting 101: Why Did Galactus Want the Baby? (A Dad's Take)
It was 3:14 in the morning on a aggressively damp Tuesday when I found myself standing in the kitchen, gently swaying Twin A while attempting to read Marvel lore on my phone at twelve percent brightness. She was doing an...
How We Survived Slow Cooker Pork Ribs Without A Trip To The ER
The apartment smelled like brown sugar and smoked wood. It was a freezing November Sunday in Chicago, and I had the slow cooker going on low since six in the morning. Rohan was eight months old, sitting in his high...
Dear Past Me: Please Put Down the Shrek Baby Costume and Walk Away
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the seasonal aisle at Target. You haven't slept in three days. You're holding a deeply flammable polyester green ogre costume and furiously Googling if infants can watch early 2000s...