Why That Adorable Baby Girl Sweater Set is a Trap (And How to Survi...
There's a very specific, muffled grunting sound a three-month-old makes when you're trying to force her exceptionally wobbly, disproportionately large head through the unyielding neck-hole of a rigidly knitted garment. Itβs a noise that instantly broadcasts to the entire Costa...
The brutally honest guide to sorting out vetement bebe fille
I was standing in the dark holding a tiny, poop-covered denim jacket. It was week two of motherhood. Maya was screaming, I was crying, and I couldn't figure out how to unbutton three microscopic metal snaps while keeping her flailing...
Debugging the Glitchy Physics of Baby Formalwear and Outfits
My mom told me babies need a slip under their dress so the tulle doesn't scratch. My mother-in-law said anything with a skirt is basically a sleep hazard waiting to execute a critical failure. And the barista at my favorite...
Dear Tom: The truth about the long sleeve bubble romper
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sweating through your t-shirt in the narrow hallway of our flat, desperately trying to wedge Twin Aβs voluminous, balloon-shaped bottom half into a pair of slim-fit corduroy trousers. She is screaming. You're...
What I Got Wrong About Baby Girl Gifts: Real Talk From A Mom
Right now, I'm sitting on my living room floor staring down a neon pink tutu that someone just mailed to my youngest daughter, and I'm honestly trying to figure out if it's physically possible for cheap tulle to scratch a...
Building A Baby Girl Gift Basket That Parents Will Actually Use
It was 3 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the floor of our apartment wearing Daveβs oversized college sweatpants, crying into a lukewarm mug of decaf. I was 38 weeks pregnant with Maya, and our living room...
The Great Baby Girl Wallpaper Debug: A Dad's Guide to Nursery Decor
I'm standing on a step stool at 11 PM with a plastic putty knife in my hand, frantically trying to scrape a semi-congealed layer of industrial adhesive off the drywall before it permanently bonds. My wife Sarah is standing in...
The Truth About Surviving Weddings in Smocked Baby Girl Clothes
I'm standing in the disabled toilet of a remarkably pretentious Surrey golf club, holding a heavily soiled nappy in one hand and half a crumbling shortbread biscuit in the other. Somewhere beyond the mahogany door, a string quartet is aggressively...
Choosing an Easter Outfit Baby Girl Twins Won't Immediately Destroy
My index finger was entirely trapped in a web of cheap, synthetic tulle, and Florence was screaming with the specific, piercing pitch of a kettle that has been left to boil for far too long. We were exactly twenty minutes...