The 3 AM Baby Santana Search That Broke My Pediatric Nurse Brain
The drywall was physically vibrating at two in the morning. My fourteen-year-old niece was visiting from out of state, and she decided the middle of the night was the perfect time to blast trap music. My toddler, who was already...
The Absolute Mess of Dressing an Infant in a Baby Pink Dress
I'm sitting in the back pew of a Baptist church in the dead heat of a Texas July, sweating right through my own linen top, while my six-month-old daughter screams bloody murder. It was 2019, my oldest was my guinea...
Why That Baby Swing Is A Lifesaver (And A Total Anxiety Trap)
It was a Tuesday in November, right around 3 PM, and I was wearing a pair of maternity leggings that smelled vaguely of old spit-up and desperation. Maya was maybe two months old. She had been screaming for what felt...
Dear Past Me: The Completely Messy Truth About Baby TV & Screens
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently hiding in the tiny downstairs half-bathroom. It's 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing Daveβs giant gray flannel shirtβthe one with the missing buttonβand mismatched socks, clutching a lukewarm Yeti...
Why That Online Growth Chart Is Making You Lose Your Mind
I'm standing naked on my cold Chicago bathroom tile at four in the morning. My baby is also naked. I step onto the digital scale, memorize my exact weight, step off, pick up my thrashing three-month-old, step back on, and...
The Truth About Beech-Nut Baby Food From a Tired Mom of Three
I was standing on a kitchen chair with a wet Swiffer pad, aggressively scrubbing bright orange sweet potato puree off my ceiling fan, when I finally accepted defeat. This was four years ago with my oldest son. I had bought...
Why Searching For That Baby John Cartoon Sent Me Into A Panic
My mother-in-law swore by propping Leo up with an iPad the second he got fussy, my sister acted like letting a 3D animated pig sing a nursery rhyme would literally dissolve his frontal lobe, and my husband Dave just muttered...
Raising A Baby Hitler: Why I Stopped Tracking Cries And Held My Kid
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM in your timeline, and I know exactly what you're doing. You're sitting in the glow of your laptop in the nursery, holding a screaming, five-month-old Maya, and you're logging...
How to Actually Troubleshoot Your Way to an Fantastic Baby
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, the Portland rain was actively mocking my sanity against the bedroom window, and my 11-month-old was throwing a massive runtime error. I had tried the bouncing walk, the aggressive shushing, the weird yoga-ball-hip-sway...