Magazine
So Your Toddler Brought a Live Baby Crow Into the Kitchen
Beau was standing in the middle of my kitchen holding what looked like a dusty, highly aggressive potato. Dirt was falling onto my freshly swept linoleum, our golden retriever was losing his absolute mind by the back door, and an...
Why Everything TV Taught You About Baby CPR is Dead Wrong
I was standing at my kitchen island yesterday, quartering grapes for my three-year-old with the kind of frantic, sweaty precision you only develop after your firstborn nearly checked out over a piece of hidden plastic. I had some medical drama...
What A Baby Chimpanzee Actually Taught Me About Human Parenting
It was three in the morning in the postpartum ward. I was bleeding through a mesh pad, staring at my newborn son in his plastic bassinet, waiting for the maternal instinct software to finish downloading. I thought it would just...
What a Wild Baby Chimp Taught Me About Raising Twin Toddlers
I'm currently lying flat on the rug in our London living room, staring at a patch of ceiling that desperately needs painting, while someone repeatedly hits my left shin with a plastic spatula. Twin A (Isla) is shrieking because her...
Baby Chief Do It: 3 AM Rabbit Holes & Real Firmware Updates
Itβs 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, the exact temperature in our Portland apartment is 68.5 degrees, and I'm currently forty-five minutes deep into a TikTok wormhole trying to figure out why my eleven-month-oldβs behavior doesnβt match the internetβs benchmarks. My...
The reality of raising a newborn and a kitten at the same time
There we were at three in the morning. My newborn daughter was asleep in her bassinet, her mouth hanging open like a tiny, toothless baby catfish. I was half-asleep in the glider, holding a cold cup of tea. Then a...
The Great Baby Carrot Freakout And How We Actually Survived It
I was standing in my kitchen at exactly 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. I know the exact time because that's the precise moment my soul usually leaves my body every afternoon. I was wearing my husband Dave's gray college sweatpants...
Note to past Tom: Getting the baby brezza sterilizer sorted
Dear Tom of six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I know exactly what you're doing. You're standing in the kitchen in your oversized grey joggers, staring bleary-eyed into a rolling boil of tap water on...
Dear Past Me: The baby brezza bottle warmer Survival Guide
Dear Sarah of six months ago, Itβs 3:14 AM. Youβre standing barefoot on the freezing faux-terracotta tiles in the kitchen, wearing Daveβs oversized college hoodie that has a suspicious yogurt stain on the pocket, and you're staring at a plastic...