Magazine

A stressed tired dad holding a medicine bottle at three in the morning

The absolute terrifying truth about baby aspirin 81 mg and your child

It was 3:14 in the morning. I know this because the glowing red numbers of the digital clock were burning into my retinas while Twin A screamed with the distinct, piercing octave reserved exclusively for a new molar. Twin B...

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A half-empty tub of healing ointment next to a spilled coffee cup on a messy nursery changing table.

The Honest Truth About Baby Aquaphor: A Letter To My Past Self

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're standing in aisle fourteen of Target. It's a Tuesday, I think. You're wearing those black maternity leggings that have the weird crusty yogurt stain on the left thigh that you swore you'd...

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A stack of addressed baby announcement cards sitting on a messy wooden table next to a half-empty chai mug.

Baby Announcement Cards: A Postpartum Letter To My Past Self

It's two in the morning. The Chicago winter wind is rattling the bedroom window, and I'm staring at a stack of heavy-stock envelopes sitting next to a cold mug of chai. My breast pump is making that rhythmic, dying-cow sound....

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Exhausted mom looking completely horrified at her glowing smartphone screen in the dark

The Baby Alien Fanbus Search That Completely Broke My Parent Brain

It was 2:14 in the freaking morning on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on our violently uncomfortable beige sectional wearing sweatpants that literally still had a crusty patch of Leo’s spit-up from circa 2020 on the left thigh. Maya,...

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Sarah looking incredibly stressed while holding a lukewarm coffee mug and an iPad

Why "Baby Alien Fan Bus Porn" Is My Ultimate Parenting Nightmare

It was exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing my husband's college sweatpantsβ€”the tragic gray ones with the bleach stain on the left knee that I absolutely refuse to throw away because they've perfectly deep pockets. I...

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A tired father looking confused at his newborn baby wrapped in an organic blanket.

Baby Alien Erome: Surviving The Extraterrestrial Phase

The most insidious lie peddled to expectant parents isn't that you'll eventually sleep again, or that you'll somehow maintain your pre-baby social life (you won't, and honestly, staying in is cheaper anyway). The biggest myth is that newborns arrive looking...

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A tired mother sitting on a porch looking at a baby name book

Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew Before Naming Our Baby Akira

Dear Jess from six months agoβ€”put down your sweet tea, close the Pinterest tab where you're looking at custom nursery signs, and for the love of everything holy, delete that hashtag draft from your Instagram. You're sitting there on the...

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Priya holding a stained baby one piece outfit next to a washing machine

The brutal code brown math of the baby 5 one piece outfit rotation

It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-January. The smell hits me before the crying even starts. I'm standing over the crib in the dark, and my three-month-old has somehow managed to paint himself, the sheets, and the wall behind...

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Priya holding her toddler after a routine pediatrician appointment with a tiny bandaid on his thigh

The brutal truth about your babies vaccine schedule and tears

The paper on the exam table sounds like a giant potato chip bag every time he kicks his chunky little legs. I'm staring at the metal tray holding three tiny syringes. I used to prep these exact trays. I've seen...

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