Magazine
So You're Looking for Baby Ducks for Sale? Read This First
"Just get one at Tractor Supply, it's basically a low-maintenance puppy," my neighbor confidently declared over the fence last Tuesday while watering her petunias. "They will literally coat your house in microscopic feces and your children will get dysentery," my...
The 2 AM Google Panic: What a "Baby Drill" Actually Means Today
It was exactly 2:14 AM when the daycare app pushed a notification to my phone. I was already awake because D (that's how my son is logged in my sleep-tracker spreadsheet, just "Baby D" to save keystrokes at three in...
The absolute disaster of putting your infant in a fancy baby dress
We're at my sister-in-law's house in Naperville for a holiday party. My daughter is four months old and I've wrestled her into a heavily embroidered, synthetic silk baby dress that cost more than my first stethoscope. She looks like a...
The Literal Baby Don't Hurt Me Phase Of Parenting Is Actually Wild
It was a random Tuesday at exactly 6:14 AM, and I was wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh that my husband absolutely hates. I had exactly half a sip of lukewarm French...
Why Your Kid's Baby Doll Accessories Are Actually A Massive Deal
It was 2:15 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the living room rug in a pair of yoga pants that hadn't seen an actual yoga studio since roughly 2018. I was enormously pregnant with Leo, sweating through...
How to Bring a Baby Home to Your Dog Without Losing Your Mind
I was sitting on my faux-Navajo living room rug, covered in sour milk spit-up, physically restraining my 70-pound mutt Buster by his collar while my newborn screamed in the bassinet, trying to mentally sort through the absolute circus of advice...
Why The Baby Delight Bassinet Might Actually Save Your Sanity
It was 3:14 in the morning, and I was staring at a fifteen-hundred-dollar spaceship of a smart sleeper that my colicky firstborn was currently screaming bloody murder inside of. That was the exact moment I realized the biggest myth in...
Surviving That First Ridiculous Baby Day Out Into The Wild
I stood with my hand hovering over the front door handle for a solid forty-five minutes, paralyzed by indecision. My twin girls, who were roughly ten weeks old at the time, were actually asleep in the gargantuan double buggy that...
Why The Viral Baby Crying Meme Hits Way Too Close to Home
It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm sitting in the dark in my living room, the blue light from my phone illuminating my deeply exhausted face. I'm looking at a viral post about a toddler who's completely losing his mind because...