Magazine
The Complete Chaos of Navigating That Viral Jalebi Baby Trend
It was 8:45 AM on a Tuesday, and I was trapped in the preschool drop-off line in my Honda CR-V smelling like three-day-old dry shampoo and desperation. Maya, who was four at the time, was kicking the back of my...
The Beautiful, Chaotic Reality of Having an IVF Baby in London
It was 10:47 PM on a rainy Tuesday in London, and I was carefully shuffling a half-eaten block of Cathedral City cheddar and some slightly sad-looking kale to make room for roughly four thousand quid's worth of hormonal injectables. That's...
The Viral Rapper Baby Drama That Ruined My Instagram Archive
It was 3:14 in the morning, and Twin A was asleep face-down on my larynx. I was trapped in that uniquely parental state of paralysis where your arm has gone entirely numb, your bladder is screaming for mercy, but you...
Late Night TV, DNA & Is Will The Father Of Luna's Baby
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago: You're currently sitting on the blue exercise ball in the middle of our living room, bouncing precisely 62 times a minute in the dark. It's 3:14 AM, the baby is five months old,...
The Brutal Truth About the Infantino Baby Carrier (My Meltdown)
I was standing in the Target parking lot at 2 PM on a sweltering Tuesday, wearing maternity leggings with a crusty mystery stain on the left knee, desperately trying to click a piece of stiff plastic into another piece of...
Why explicit industry baby lyrics are ruining my mornings now
The digital clock said 5:42 AM. The sky over Chicago was the color of wet concrete, and my coffee hadn't even finished dripping. I turned my back for three seconds to grab a mug. That was enough time for my...
The Ikea Baby Chair Truth: Posture, Choking & Cleaning
My mother-in-law wanted me to register for a leather-bound high chair that cost more than my first car. My occupational therapist friend cornered me at a brunch to explain that any baby chair without a perfectly adjustable, solid oak footplate...
I Want You To Be Mine Again Baby: Fetty Wap & Postpartum Love
Before the twins were born, I made the fatal error of asking people for advice on what to play for them audibly. My mum, firmly rooted in the pseudo-science of the late nineties, insisted that playing classical symphonies would instantly...
Why Selena Gomez Replaced Traditional Lullabies In My House
I'm standing on the specific landing floorboard I know doesn't creak, doing the desperate, rhythmic sway of a man who hasn't slept a full night since 2021. Maya is draped over my left shoulder, drooling a small, warm lake into...