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The Truth About Kirkland Baby Wipes: A Letter to My Past Self
Dear Sarah from June 2024, You're currently sitting on the cold kitchen floor in those faded black Lululemon leggings that have a questionable hole near the seam, holding a cup of lukewarm coffee you poured at 8 AM, and you're...
Why we panic over California Baby and 3 AM skin rashes
Three in the morning on a Tuesday in January. The radiator in my Chicago apartment is clanking like an asthmatic tractor. My toddler is doing the dreaded scratch-dance against the crib rails, sounding like someone dragging sandpaper across a chalkboard....
My history with johnson and johnson baby oil and the pink bottle
Listen. I was standing in my cramped Chicago bathroom holding a naked, freshly bathed three-month-old who was entirely coated in johnson and johnson baby oil. He was thrashing like a freshly caught salmon. I had absolutely zero grip. My mother...
Why the best baby lotion isn't whatever smells like a powdery dream
I'm holding a violently slippery, screaming seven-month-old who looks like he just lost a street fight with a patch of poison ivy. It's a Tuesday night four years ago, and my oldest sonβwho has served as the trial-by-fire for basically...
Why Thinkbaby Sunscreen Is The Only White Paste I Trust On My Kid
Sand was quite literally glued to my son's left eyeball. We were at Oak Street Beach. It was ninety degrees in Chicago, the concrete was radiating heat, and he was screaming a pitch usually reserved for the pediatric triage desk....
My honest nurse review of those famous Korean bulk baby wipes
Standing in the glowing fluorescent aisles of a massive warehouse club, staring at a cardboard mountain of Rico wipes. You know the ones. Every mom group on the internet treats them like sacred texts. Another parent bumps my cart to...
Troubleshooting the Sudden Red Bumps on Your Baby's Face
I was shining my iPhone flashlight at my sonβs left cheek at 2:14 AM when my wife gently, but firmly, confiscated my phone. I had been hovering over his crib like a forensic investigator for ten minutes, trying to determine...
The Honest Truth About Using Baby Oil Gel on Newborns
My mother-in-law told me to massage my son in warm mustard oil until he resembled a glazed donut. My favorite attending physician from the pediatric ward said to stick to dry air and benign neglect. The internet moms told me...
The Honest Truth About Baby Aquaphor: A Letter To My Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're standing in aisle fourteen of Target. It's a Tuesday, I think. You're wearing those black maternity leggings that have the weird crusty yogurt stain on the left thigh that you swore you'd...