Magazine

Overwhelmed mother trying to quiet a crying baby at a formal event

The Real Shiva Baby Dilemma: Taking Infants to Solemn Events

"Leave 'em at the house," my grandma told me over the phone, her voice crackling through the spotty rural Texas cell service. "Take them, babies represent the circle of life!" my mother-in-law insisted the very next day while aggressively shoving...

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A tired British dad wearing twin girls in dark grey Swedish carriers while attempting to drink cold tea.

How A Mountain Of Baby Bjorn Gear Saved My Sanity With Twins

It was half-past three in the morning on day four of twin parenthood, and I was trying to eat a piece of cold toast while balancing one screaming infant on my left forearm and another on my right knee. My...

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Marcus troubleshooting the slippery infant bath setup in his Portland home - KIANAO

Debugging the Infant Wash Cycle: A Letter to My Clueless Past Self

You're currently holding a screaming, soapy five-month-old over a stainless steel kitchen sink while the water temperature wildly fluctuates between Arctic runoff and molten lava, and you're terrified. I know this because I'm you, writing from six months in the...

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Tired dad holding twin babies surrounded by wooden toys

The actual nepo baby meaning for severely sleep-deprived parents

My mother-in-law confidently informed me over a lukewarm cup of Earl Grey that it was a highly contagious viral rash sweeping through the North London nurseries. The barista at our local overpriced coffee shop swore it was a new developmental...

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Frustrated dad trying to fold a massive baby stroller in the rain outside a coffee shop.

The V1.0 Stroller Bug: Why My First Hardware Purchase Failed

It's 43 degrees, pouring that specific sideways Portland rain, and I'm violently kicking the back left wheel of a $900 piece of baby gear while my wife Sarah watches from the passenger seat of our Honda Civic. This was my...

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glowing video monitor screen showing a sleeping baby in a dark room

What I got totally wrong about the baby monitor as a pediatric nurse

It's three in the morning and I'm digitally zooming in on a pixelated chest, holding my own breath to see if my son is taking his. I spent five years on the pediatric floor at a Chicago hospital, managing central...

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Baby in an organic cotton bodysuit kicking in a wooden floor bouncer

What I Got Completely Wrong About My First Baby Bouncer Seat

It was a Tuesday at like, 2 PM, and I was sitting on the damp bath mat in my tiny apartment bathroom, wearing a stained gray nursing bra and exactly one sock. Leo was three and a half weeks old....

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A very tired dad staring at a Swedish bouncing baby chair in the kitchen

Dear Past Marcus: You Need a Baby Bjorn Bouncer Immediately

Past Marcus, it's me. You from six months in the future. You're currently standing in the kitchen of our Portland apartment at 3:14 AM. The baby is five weeks old. It's raining outside, obviously. You're trying to rock him while...

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Confused dad holding an infant covered in pureed sweet potatoes

The Great Gerber Baby Myth and The Reality of Infant Parenting

I'm currently staring at a smear of what I think is pureed sweet potato on my kitchen ceiling. I don't know how it got up there. My son is eleven months old, sits exactly thirty-two inches below that spot in...

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