Why Getting A Pet Piglet Might Actually Break Your Spirit
When we decided the twins needed to learn some sort of vague responsibility that didn't involve keeping me awake until 3am, the advice rolled in like a thick London fog. My mother suggested a golden retriever because they supposedly teach...
The Big Lie About Finding the Best Car Seat (And Surviving the Drive)
It was 98 degrees in a BuyBuyBaby parking lotβRIP to that store, honestly, I spent half my pregnancy wandering those aisles in a dazeβand I was sweating through my gray maternity leggings. You know, the ones from Target that always...
Is the Job of a Brand Ambassador Actually Worth the Stress?
I'm currently wedged between our coffee table and a dangerously overloaded laundry basket, holding a smartphone at a 45-degree angle while making desperate clicking noises with my tongue. My 11-month-old son is supposed to be interacting thoughtfully with a visually...
The Great Baby Decke Deception of the First Twelve Months
I'm standing in our cramped London living room, holding what can only be described as a mountain of pastel knitwear. It's three weeks before the twins are due, and my mother-in-law has just dropped off her contribution to our nursery....
The baby registry target reality check: What you actually need
"You don't need anything except a box of diapers and some onesies," my mother-in-law announced over her Pinot Grigio at my baby shower, which was aggressively unhelpful considering I was already sweating through my maternity leggings. Then my best friend...
The Baby Rottweiler Protocol: Debugging Life With a 100-Pound Dog
The system totally crashed on a Tuesday at 4:13 PM. It was pouring rain here in Portland, which meant our 115-pound dog, Buster, had completely refused to step outside to use the bathroom and was currently running on 100 percent...
The Hatch Baby Delusion: Why Smart Sound Machines Won't Save You
It's exactly 3:14 AM, and I'm standing motionless in the hallway outside my daughters' bedroom, holding my breath so tightly my vision is starting to blur. Page 47 of the best-selling parenting manual we panic-bought during the third trimester suggested...
What the Greg Gutfeld Baby News Taught Me About Newborn Chaos
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the beige living room rug that desperately needs vacuuming, aggressively rocking a screaming baby with your left foot while trying to untangle a botched macrame order for the Etsy shop...
Raising Gen Beta: AI Anxiety, Wooden Toys, And Finding Peace
I was sitting in the dark nursing my son while the Chicago winter tried to break my living room windows. My phone screen was the only light in the room. I had fallen down a 3 AM internet rabbit hole...