That Accidental Internet Search Disaster & Why We're Going Unplugged
I was sitting in my worn-out nursing chair at two in the morning, practically cross-eyed with exhaustion, balancing my phone on my sleeping three-month-old's forehead while I tried to stay awake. My teenage niece had been at the house earlier,...
The Truth About The Most Valuable Beanie Babies in Your Attic
It's 9:45 AM on a Tuesday, I'm wearing my husband Dave's absolute grossest college sweatpants with the hole in the knee, and I'm sitting cross-legged on the dusty floor of my mother's guest room staring at a giant, cracked Rubbermaid...
My Sorry Baby Trailer Disasters & The Toxic Y2K Baby T Trend
I'm standing in our cracked concrete driveway sweating completely through my favorite target t-shirt while trying to shove a supposedly perfectly-sized bicycle helmet onto a screaming ten-month-old who's actively stiff-boarding his body like a plank of wood. Dear past Jess...
The Truth About the SSA Baby Name Database (And My Biggest Regret)
I was 38 weeks pregnant, wedged into a kitchen chair that suddenly felt way too small, staring at a glowing spreadsheet of baby names at 11 PM. My husband was standing by the open fridge eating cold deli turkey straight...
Real Talk: The "That's My Baby She's Iconic" Trend Is Exhausting
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the edge of the master bathtub at 2:14 AM wearing those gray sweatpants with the bleach stain on the thigh, and you're literally crying into a mug of coffee that...
Josh and Aubree Jones Named Their Baby Disney (And I Get It)
Dear past Tom You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor at 3:14 AM, using a cold, damp flannel to wipe what you fervently hope is pureed parsnip off your left shoulder. Beatrice (the twin who currently believes she's a domesticated...
Surviving The Dust Cloud: Johnson's Baby Powder & Nappy Rash
Itβs 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The heating in our London flat is making that ominous clanking sound that usually precedes a massive repair bill, and Florence (Twin A, currently the undisputed heavyweight champion of dramatic screaming) has decided her...
The Unfiltered Truth About Picking Authentic Celtic Baby Names
I was sitting in the cracked vinyl chair at Dr. Miller's office last Tuesday, bouncing a fussy ten-month-old on my hip, when the triage nurse popped her head out the door and yelled, "See-oh-bann? Is there a See-oh-bann?" A poor,...
What 'The Baby 1973' Taught Me About Letting My Kids Grow Up
I was elbow-deep in a mountain of crusty toddler pants at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday, stress-eating stale Goldfish crackers while waiting for Etsy orders to print, when an old late-night movie caught my eye. Have y'all ever heard of...